Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A BAD FIRST DATE ????

First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until th ey we re headed home
late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. T hey stopped and
she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and
started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed was a rea l gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware
of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some
assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. ; Or perhaps that
should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was
embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... "This give s a whole new meaning to being pissed
off.

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

19TH JACK DANIEL'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BARBECUE


Jack Daniel's BBQ is a must see event on our calendar each year. This event goes back to the days of Jack Daniel who hosted barbecues for friends, associates and family. The tradition has passed down through the years and began as The World Championship Invitational Barbecue hosted by Jack Daniel's Distillery and the city of Lynchburg in 1988. The event is looked on as the premier barbecue event in the world.
Smoke was rising out of the hollow as we made our way through miles of bumper to bumper traffic to reach the event located around the town square and into the city park. Things were buzzing as we walked into a mass of people on the square with booths of food, crafts and music. Over 40,ooo hungry people were in attendance and you couldn't walk without running into someone. All this was well and good but the real fun was on down in the park where the smoke was cascading from the BBQ teams cookers.
Teams are invited by winning a championship in some State BBQ event. 60 teams from all over the USA were invited to compete for prize money and bragging rights. Teams with funny names like; Carcass Cookers, Doctor Porkenstein FireHouse BBQ. were cooking oink, cackel and moo. That's Southern for pig, chicken and beef the three different meat events a team can compete . The best part about the BBQ is teams must give samples of their cooked meats to the public. Since Jack Daniels supplies all the meat for the teams this is a given, many thanks Jack!!!! After the teams take their meats to be judged it sample time. Long lines form and teams give their samples away. People are rushing to get in those lines serving. Good manners by the public are viewed and thanks go out to those serving the samples as you take them. Greasy mouths and chins are seen and people are in a jolly mood. Who wouldn't be with all that GOOD BBQ? Yeah, I sure got my share of those delicious meats, my wife was going through the lines and after a while she began giving me what she didn't want. I didn't buy any BBQ from those selling it who weren't competing but before we went home I had to buy a BBQ plate for my wife.
Teams from all over the world made the trip to compete in the International BBQ contest. Teams from Australia, Belgium, Canada, UK, Germany, Switzerland, Poland, Norway, Puerto Rico, Ireland and Estonia were crowd favorites in their native attire. These guys and gals cooked some GREAT BBQ!
The crowd favorite of everyone was the Mate from Australia who played his native music on those long horns seened in the photo above. Kids and people got to play other music items he had and photos were being snapped by everyone. He was quite a show and a diplomat too. I heard him say, " These Tennessee Women are the prettiest in the world." That might be a matter of opinion

Thursday, October 25, 2007

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

Entry for October 25, 2007 CHILDHOOD MEMORIES...
Entry for October 25, 2007 CHILDHOOD MEMORIES... magnify
How far back can a person remember during their childhood? Some people claim they can go back to age 2 or 3. But do they remember or did their parnets tell these stories so many times that they are etched into their memory. I can only go back to when I was 5. After reading a blog by Victoria's memories from her childhood I was inspired to share some of mine.
All my early childhood was spent in a rural setting where Dad worked on farms. Playing in a large cornfield with my pet duck. Duck vanished, later in life I found out my duck was Christmas Dinner!! Times were hard!!
Going to work with Dad. Playing in a cornfield while he gathered corn and tossed it into the wagon. Having to go to the bathroom while he picked corn. Dad I got to go!! Son, go over under that tree near the fence. When I finished and was pulling up my overalls something was in my overalls. Daddy, daddy there is a lizard in my pants as I hold it for my dear life with one hand. Dad comes to my rescue and pryed my hand off what I just knew was a lizard. A small twig had fell from the tree into my overalls.
Playing too rough with my kitty and trying to revive it in a pan of water, hanging it up to dry, it didn't make it. I always wondered why??
Told not to go near the creek by Mom, came home wet and muddy. No I didn't go to the creek. On yeah, you did!!
I wanted to go with Dad one night to get water down in the hollow at the spring. Stay here it's too dark!! I stayed way behind so Dad wouldn't see me and slipped and fell on a sharp rock and cut my elbow very bad. Dad comes again to the rescue.
I get to ride in a borrowed horse and buggy the next morning to my first trip to a doctor. I still carry that scar!
Soldiers across the road, all over the hillside and hollow training for war. Gave us candy and C-rations.
Mom making soap in a large black pot over a fire in the yard.
Remembering the night my brother was born at home. A neighbor's retarted son running up and down the road the next morning announcing that Mrs. Burton had a black baby boy. Mom didn't like this!!
We all have childhood memories some where in our head. Do you want to share some of yours?????
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